AAAAGHHH! Ah…that’s a bit better. Apologies for the blood curdling screams, but I am filled to the brim with inner rage after receiving the latest letter from my new penpals from hell at TalkTalk. At least this one was actually in reply to my complaint letter, but it was no less annoying than the bullying FINAL DEMAND letter I got last week. The new one made me so angry that I had to put it in another room while I ate my lunch, as just being near it made steam come out of my ears.
A fellow by the name of Ben Gibson (any relation to Mel Gibson? I doubt it) of the grandly entitled Customer Relations Department (mmm…what relations, I wonder – the kind you pray you won’t find when you do your family tree and spend just as much time burying them again as you did digging them up!) writes to thank me for my letter (shame he can’t spell my name but when your surname rhymes with ‘ferret’ you become accustomed to such slack treatment – although I swear these outfits do this deliberately just to make you even crosser) and says “please accept my apologies if you received any problems in connecting to our broadband service.”
Hoorah! I hear you cry – AT LAST an apology! But yet, my friends, but yet. I do not like but yet. Mr Gibson goes on…
“It shows in the terms and conditions that any problems must be reported to TalkTalk. However no calls were received and we were unaware of any problems. This now makes you responsible to pay the cessation fee of £70…and the remaining outstanding balance on your account before you disconnected of £2.92.”
This is also nonsense – and he should know this from reading my letter. Because I didcall them while I was still a customer to say the dratted thing didn’t work – I remember it well as the customer services rep argued down my throat. But presumably they don’t bother to keep call records. He also conveniently says nothing about why we weren’t told when we signed up that we would a) be charged £70 if we left or b) we’d lose our number. Or why nobody bothered to return my call as promised when I’d called the second time to complain.
Anyway, I came across what the Carphone Warehouse’s website will have us believe is Charles Dunstone’s personal email address as a contact for ‘customer services’. So I emailed my woes, along with the letters I have sent/am sending and got an automatic reply back saying they hope to send an answer in 3 days. I even shamelessly pulled the journalist card. But I don’t hold out much hope. Despite the slogan across the top of my letter which declares, ‘Talktalk – Let’s do it together’. Let’s do whatexactly? Rip off a load of unsuspecting BT customers? Rugby tackle some old ladies? Go to hell in a handcart?
Presumably because of these greedy people who want a lot of hard-earned cash in return for nothing but pain, misery and aggravation, I am going to have to find £72 from somewhere – most likely my Christmas budget. Sorry, Dad, if you want to know why you’ve received a second hand toilet roll holder instead of those Wild West books you’d set your heart on please email Charles Dunstone on email@example.com for an explanation.
Looks like fish finger sandwiches for Christmas dinner…again.
Have you had problems with broadband/phone suppliers? How did you resolve them?